


there's a fine line between love and hate

by maruyaaya



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Amami Rantaro is a good friend, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idk how this ended up so long, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Irouma - Freeform, Iruma Miu Being Iruma Miu, LMAO, Non Despair AU, Oma Kokichi Is a Little Shit, Soulmate AU, background platonic amamatsu, fuck junko, i mean miu is in this so you can expect swearing, kokichi is so hard to write what the fuck, like theyre just good old high school students with ultimate talents, oh yeah swearing warning, slowburn, this is barely proofread so expect typos :DDD, this was supposed to be a short oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maruyaaya/pseuds/maruyaaya
Summary: Soulmate AU: the first words your soulmate says to you are written on your arm.Miu Iruma had spent her entire life absolutely loathing her soulmate. Whoever her soulmate was, they were a little shit and Miu had no intention of even trying to meet them. So when Rantaro Amami claims that he knows who Miu's soulmate is, there is absolutely positively no way she's going to go meet her soulmate.Except she does.
Relationships: Iruma Miu/Oma Kokichi
Comments: 26
Kudos: 111





	there's a fine line between love and hate

**Author's Note:**

> god kokichi is such a hard character to write. i literally did write most of this at like 4 am so no promises that it's actually quality content LMAO
> 
> (im kidding im kidding i see you clicking away please come back ily)

_Miu Iruma? Really? She looks like she’d get turned on if I called her a cum dumpster._

Miu had spent her whole life absolutely _loathing_ her soulmate. She shouldn’t have been surprised really. Of course her soulmate would be the one to insult her at their first meeting. 

Miu has asked her parents what a ‘cum dumpster’ was when she was younger and they’d always told her it was a compliment. It was her soulmate calling her beautiful, funny, _angelic_ even. 

Miu had been 10 and a classmate had read her tattoo, immediately laughing. Miu had snapped at them, saying she was lucky to have a soulmate who complimented her during their first meeting. Her classmate had explained what the tattoo really meant and needless to say, Miu had gotten “the talk” a little early. 

From that moment on, Miu had sworn revenge on her soulmate. She’d spent every minute of her life coming up with the perfect comeback. Something… witty and funny. Smart, but still sexy. Genius, but simple to understand. She basically had the perfect comebacks prepared for whatever her soulmate said for the next 50 years. 

Miu had been 11 when her best friend had found her soulmate. She’d taken off with him, leaving Miu alone to deal with the torment of the bullies the two had faced together in the past. She resented that person — the one who had stole her best friend away. She hadn’t even been able to complain because she should’ve been happy for her friend. Just because she should’ve doesn’t mean she was though. 

She began wearing long sleeves, hiding the curly black letters on her arm. She forgot all about her carefully forged comebacks and how much she hoped to find her soulmate. She didn’t care what they would look like or what they would be like. They were a waste of time and they just wanted to steal her from whatever friend’s she’d have in the future. 

That’s when her parents started fighting. Miu remembered the first big one happening when she was 13. She’d heard a crack and ran downstairs only to find the shattered pieces of a plate on the ground. Her parents had stopped shouting at the sight of her and her mom had tucked her in, carefully kissing her forehead. 

It had only gotten worse from that point. They no longer stopped arguing when they saw Miu and Miu could’ve sworn that half of their arguments were about her. She did well in school, she earned prizes at science fairs and won competitions across the country, but nothing seemed to make them proud. Her mom was only focused on how little time her father spent with her, calling him a deadbeat who didn’t do anything but gamble and drink. Her father was focused on complaining about how badly her mother had raised her and that Miu was nothing but a tiny version of her mother. 

Miu just wanted her parents to pay attention to her. She did good in school, but her achievements were regarded as something that any student could do. She acted out, but her parents barely even cared anymore. She couldn’t remember when her parents had stopped loving each other, but she knew that it had happened somewhere along the line because of her. 

Her parents had been soulmates; destined for eachother, so why did they fight all the time. Why weren’t they perfect together like soulmates were supposed to be? Why couldn’t they be happy? She had so many questions and so few answers because _nothing_ made sense anymore. 

Miu had been 14 when she’d learned about broken lovers. 

Broken lovers was a term used for soulmates that hadn’t worked. Couples that ended up as broken lovers were even worse than couples who weren’t soulmates at all. Broken lovers were rare, less than a 1% chance of happening, but they weren’t unheard of. Miu wondered what she had done wrong to end up with parents who became broken lovers. 

Maybe broken lovers ran in the family. Maybe she and whoever her soulmate was wouldn’t work out. Maybe that’s why they were calling her a cum dumpster, because they truly didn’t care about her. She threw out her list of comebacks. It was fitting that most of the lines on there were things like ‘poopyhead’ and ‘stupid’. She’d only been 10 after all. 

Miu put up her shell at 15. She wanted to be liked and boys liked girls who show off. Girls who have the full package and are easy to fuck. Boys liked Miu. Miu was strong, confident, and pretty. She was fucking Miu Iruma of all people and there was no one who deserved someone like her. 

Emotions were weak. Feelings were weak. Everything was weak except for Miu. Miu didn’t need to show her emotions. She needed to show off her boobs and make sexual jokes and she could be popular. She could be liked. She wouldn’t have to be alone anymore. 

At 16, her letter to Hope’s Peak Academy had arrived. Earning the title of Ultimate Inventor, Miu was invited to join Hope’s Peak as a student. Being accepted to Hope’s Peak was a big deal. If you graduated from Hope’s Peak, you were practically set for life. 

Miu thought that her acceptance might make her parents even the smallest bit proud of her, but they had only seemed interesting in the dorm rooms that students would stay in for the whole year. ‘One less mouth to feed’ they had laughed. Miu had smiled softly when they’d said that, even if they had been wanting to get rid of her. 

Miu hadn’t heard her parents laugh together in a long time.

* * *

Miu had arrived at Hope’s Peak and found she was sharing a room with some girl named Kaede. Kaede hadn’t stuck around for long after the introductions, but Miu didn't really care. Miu’d never had many female friends as most had found her loud, obnoxious, full of herself, or a combination of all three. Miu felt content to just lie on her bed and maybe read a book, eager to be able to do something in peace and quiet without the constant yelling from her parents in the background. 

A knocking at the door jarred Miu out her thoughts. She growled quietly before returning to her book. If she ignored the knocking, they’d go away, right? The knocking only grew louder the longer Miu ignored it, so she stood up and pulled the door open, staring at the man standing in front of her. 

“What the fuck do you want?” Miu hissed, blocking the doorway with her body.

“Just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Rantaro Amami, your roommate Kaede’s soulmate.” The green haired man, Rantaro, laughed softly, playing with one of the silver rings on his fingers. Miu thought he was handsome enough with a face that most girls would lust after. 

“God, of course she has a fuckin’ boyfriend.” Miu laughed, placing her hands on her hips as she tried to catch sight of Rantaro’s tattoo. She wondered what kind of cute introduction was engraved on Rantaro’s skin. 

“Oh, we’re not dating. We’re just friends.” Rantaro ran a hand through his green hair, laughing quietly as he spoke. 

“The fuck you mean ‘you’re not dating’” Miu snapped at him. 

“Soulmates aren’t always romantic, y’know. Speaking of which, there’s someone I want you to meet.” Rantaro twisted his rings around, a smile on his face that would be able to charm any girl and probably any guy too. 

Miu promptly shut the door in his face. 

The knocking ensued and grew louder and louder until Miu couldn’t take the noise. Miu pulled the door open and stared at Rantaro, running a hand through her strawberry blonde locks. Rantaro only smiled, either completely unaware of the fact that Miu didn’t want to talk to him or he was ignoring it. 

“I happened to notice your soulmate tattoo.” Rantaro tilted his head to the side, peering at the black letters on Miu’s forearm. Miu scowled and quickly hid her arm behind her back, as if it would erase Rantaro’s memory of it, “I think I know who would be the one to say it.” 

“You’re not gonna stop until I agree, right?” Miu furrowed her eyebrows, picking at her fingernails behind her back. Rantaro nodded and Miu scowled at him, “I hope you get hit in the head with a fucking metal ball.” 

Rantaro led Miu to a different dorm room. Miu glanced over at the nameplate, not recognizing either of the names listed. Rantaro knocked on the door the same way he did on Miu’s door; relentlessly and _loudly_. The door creaked open, revealing a slightly disheveled boy who looked like he’d drank seven cups of coffee, one substituting for each hour of sleep he’d missed. 

“Kokichi, I think it’s for you.” The boy looked behind him, nodding once to acknowledge Miu and Rantaro’s presence. He didn’t say a word to them and turned around, leaving Miu and Rantaro staring at an empty doorway. A shorter boy with dark hair skipped up to the doorway, leaning against the frame. 

“Kokichi, this is Miu Iruma, Miu, this is Kokichi Ouma.” Rantaro introduced the two. Kokichi looked Miu up and down as if he was reading into Miu’s very soul with just a look. His violet eyes scanned Miu and despite his blank expression, it looked as if there was something going on inside Kokichi’s brain that Miu could never begin to understand. 

“Miu Iruma? Really? She looks like she’d get turned on if I called her a cum dumpster.” Kokichi laughed, staring at the taller girl with those inquisitive eyes of his. Miu recognized his sentence by the third word. It matched perfectly, letter for letter with the black letters on her arm. 

_Kokichi Ouma. Her soulmate._

The lists and lists of comebacks and retorts that she’d written as a child passed through her brain, but not a single one was clear enough for her to use. She wanted to say something witty and funny. Smart, but still sexy. Genius, but simple to understand. It was the same intent she’d had as a child. 

This boy standing in front of her, nearly 7 inches shorter than her was her soulmate. He looked like he was annoying. Like every word he said would be a taunt or something to make fun of someone. 

But Miu thought he was kind of attractive. 

Sure, maybe he wasn’t conventionally attractive in the way Rantaro was, but his midnight blue hair looked like something ripped directly out of the night sky. His violet eyes were reminiscent of amethysts, a reminder that you’d never be anywhere close to understanding what he truly thought. There was something about Kokichi that made you think about him. _Really_ think about him. His outward appearance was childish but there was a look on his face that made him seem like he knew more than one would learn in a lifetime. 

And Miu decided at that moment that she hated him. 

Absolutely loathed him. 

He was her soulmate, someone she hadn’t wanted to meet for the majority of her life. Just as she was becoming confident, this teenage boy who looked more like he was in middle school had to come in and turn her life upside down. There was so much that Miu didn’t understand and Kokichi would just have to be one of those things. She had no intention of dating him or even being near him for more than five minutes. Maybe she’d say a sentence, show Kokichi that she was his soulmate and then leave. 

That’s when it struck Miu that in front of her soulmate, it was really hard to think straight. Any chance she’d had at being cool was practically gone now. Her mind was completely blanking. There was nothing in her brain that even remotely sounded like a cool retort. 

“Oh yeah? Well uh I- you- fuck, I mean um Kokichi? More like uh cock… itchy. Yeah! Fuck you cock itchy. HA gottem...” Miu began to ramble, unsure of what she was even saying at that point. Kokichi began to laugh, tears forming at the edges of his eyes through his laughter. 

Kokichi then promptly shut the door on the two of them. 

“Soulmates?” Rantaro asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Soulmates.” Miu sighed softly, thankful that it seemed Kokichi didn’t care about the fact that Miu was his soulmate.

* * *

**_Unknown Number_ **

**Unknown Number:** hiiiiiiii cum dumpster!!!!  
**Miu:** fuck off cock itchy  
**Unknown Number:** aww howd u know it was me :((  
_Miu Iruma has changed a contact name_  
**Miu:** who else would text out of nowhere and call me a cum dumpster  
**cockitchy:** whatd u name me whatd u name me :))  
**Miu:** thats for me to know and u to find out  
**cockitchy:** ur no fun  
**Miu:** tf howd u even get my number  
**cockitchy:** got it from rantaro who got it from kayayayayday  
**Miu:** ...kayayayayday??  
**cockitchy:** how do u not know!! ur so dumb miu!  
**Miu:** fuck off u rat child

Miu set her phone down and smiled. Even though she had absolutely no intentions of dating Kokichi, she thought that he’d make a good friend. Miu double checked the clock on her wall, deciding that if she didn’t want to be late, now would be a good time to leave. She packed up her things and walked towards her classroom, peering through the window before entering. 

She took a seat at her desk, analyzing all of the different people sitting there. Kokichi wasn’t there and Miu wondered why he was the first one she looked for. Rantaro was sitting near the front, talking to Kaede. Miu debated going over there to talk with them as she was getting increasingly bored by the second, but she felt like she’d be intruding. Rantaro and Kaede didn’t ask her to talk to them, so what if they didn't even like her. Miu’s thoughts spiraled, thinking of every possible outcome that could occur should she choose to go over there and talk to them. 

“Miu is sitting here all alone. Awww, how sad.” Kokichi planted himself right on top of Miu’s desk, his smile not fading for a second. Miu tried to hide her grin at the sight of Kokichi, but ultimately failed which only resulted in Kokichi smiling even wider. 

“Fuck off, Kokichi.” Miu’s words were hostile but her tone was sweet. 

“Oh? Do you want me to leave?” Kokichi smiled that same shit-eating grin he always had as he stood up off the desk. Miu’s eyes went wide for a second as she debated whether it would be better for her to let Kokichi go or beg him to say. 

“No. Stay.” Miu grabbed Kokichi’s arm, yanking him back towards her. Kokichi tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. Miu felt… vulnerable. As if her asking Kokichi to stay was akin to her asking him to be her boyfriend. Kokichi seemed to notice Miu’s uneasiness, his face going soft for a second. He looked at Miu, lips barely parted enough to say a word. He closed his mouth for a second and then reopened it, accompanied with the same grin from earlier. 

“What’s the magic word?” Kokichi shattered the soft moment they had created. 

“Fuck you.” Miu stuck out her tongue, peering over Kokichi’s shoulder to see Rantaro looking at the two of them with a raised eyebrow. Once he noticed Miu was looking, he winked and smiled a grin that sent shivers down Miu’s spine. She couldn’t help but hope for Rantaro to quite simply ‘fuck off’. 

Kokichi returned to his desk as the teacher began the lesson. Miu barely paid attention, not even remembering what the teacher’s name was. Miu began doodling in her notebook, sketching out the plans for a new invention. As she focused on her plans, she felt something dig its way into her hair. 

A piece of paper crumpled up into a ball fell out of her hair. Miu turned behind her, spotting Kokichi staring at her with a look on his face that Miu couldn’t read. Miu flipped him off, carefully hiding it so the teacher wouldn’t see and then she unwrapped the note. 

_Miiiiiiuuuuuu~  
im soooooo bored rn and i wanna play a game! _

Underneath his neat printing was a tic tac toe board with an ‘x’ carefully situated in the middle. Miu took a second to compare his printing to hers. Hers looked so much more rushed as if she was racing to get every thought in her head out on paper. Kokichi’s was the opposite — it was small and neat as if each stroke was deliberate. Like Kokichi had thought about every single line he had drawn. 

Miu scribbled down an ‘o’ in the right corner, smiling at her decision. Tic tac toe was something she’d played a million times before and she had every single possibility carefully mapped out in her head. She thought that she might let Kokichi win just because she wouldn’t get much satisfaction from getting an easy win, but decided against it. Even if it would be easy, beating Kokichi would be the most satisfying thing she’d have done in a long time. 

She threw the paper back at Kokichi, careful not to let the teacher see. A boy with dark purple hair who Miu hadn’t bothered to learn the name of gave the two a curious look. Kokichi stuck his tongue out at him and the purple haired boy turned away, pretending he hadn’t seen them in the first place. Miu waited for the familiar sensation of a piece of paper in her hair and frowned slightly at the fact that Kokichi couldn’t throw the paper anywhere else besides her hair. She unfolded the note, noticing a small drawing accompanying the familiar note and tic tac toe board. 

_Awww Miuuuuuuu its no fun if you dont write a note back :((( !!!!_

Along with the note was a crude picture of Kokichi standing on top of a crushed Miu. Kokichi was carrying a trophy with the words “Tic tac toe master” on it. Miu exhaled out of her nose and scribbled over the drawing. She drew a fairly ugly caricature of their teacher scolding Kokichi for drawing in class. She tossed it back, waiting to see Kokichi’s reaction. She watched as Kokichi unfolded the note, his mouth morphing into what looked to be a genuine smile. Kokichi furrowed his eyebrows as he furiously scribbled something down. He tossed it back and Miu caught it, not allowing it to get stuck in her hair once again. 

“Iruma, Ouma, is there something you’d like to share with the class?” the teacher asked, although from the tone of her voice, it was in no way, shape, or form a question. Miu whipped her head towards Kokichi who seemed slightly surprised that they’d been caught. 

“No.” Miu stood up at her desk, smiling innocently at the teacher. Kokichi stood up as well, looking at Miu as if he was proud of her. 

“Yeah, what Miu said!” Kokichi exclaimed, smiling the exact same smile that was currently on Miu’s face. The class stared at the two, eyes wide at their sudden remark. The teacher looked at the two, seemingly shocked at how easily they had stood up. 

“If you don’t read out that note right now, detention for both of you.” the teacher glared at both of them, foot tapping up and down as she became impatient to return to her lesson. 

“I’m fine with detention! Miu will be there after all!” Kokichi winked at Miu and Miu felt heat build up inside of her chest. She and Kokichi were just friends, so why did those simple words make her want something more. 

It was like Rantaro had said; not all soulmates were romantic. Kokichi was destined to be her friend and that was all. Miu didn’t want to date him, not in the least. 

It wasn’t like she thought about Kokichi far more often than she’d like to admit. It definitely wasn’t like she wondered how it would feel to hold Kokichi’s hand and snuggle in together. Most of all, it _for sure_ wasn’t like she had rehearsed a confession in her head multiple times. 

Miu was stuck in the friendzone and she had planted herself in there. Kokichi didn’t throw her in the friendzone or anything like that, Miu had walked in all on her own and she now refused to get out. 

“Agreed.” Miu winked back at Kokichi as the teacher gave both of them detention for a week. Miu sat back down and Kokichi followed suit, flashing her a shit-eating grin. 

The class passed rather uneventfully after that, with only a few outbursts from Kokichi, the self-proclaimed class clown. Miu began packing up her things, when a familiar face appeared by her side. 

“Looks like we’re in detention together.” Kokichi slung his backpack over his shoulder and Miu noticed the way his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. After just a few days of hanging out with Kokichi, she was proud to say that she’d gotten pretty good at detecting Kokichi’s fake smiles. 

But maybe Kokichi could even fake fake smiles. A quality fit for someone like the ultimate supreme leader. 

Miu slung an arm around Kokichi’s shoulders as the two walked away together. They weren’t sure where they were going but they knew that if they were going together, they’d have fun.

* * *

“Don’t you have detention?” Miu was sitting on her bed when Kaede walked in and reminded her of the very thing she had been trying to forget all day. Kaede took a seat on the couch and began scrolling on her phone. 

“OH SHIT RIGHT-” Miu nearly dropped her phone in her panic as she scrambled off of her bed. She didn’t bother to say goodbye to Kaede as she ran out the door, double checking the time on her phone. She ran through the halls, hoping there were no teachers or goody goody students like that Kiyotaka kid from class 78 to catch her. 

Miu made it to the detention classroom barely a minute before the time she was supposed to be there. Kokichi waved and Miu slid into the desk next to him. Miu felt their arms brush together and a spark of electricity ran up her spine. It had only been a small touch — just a brush of arms, but it made Miu crave something _more_. 

“You’re late, stupid.” Kokichi whispered, leaning in closer to her. Miu scooched away slightly, careful not to let Kokichi notice. Of course, she wanted to be close to Kokichi, but she wondered what might happen if she let herself get too close. 

“I forgot.” Miu hissed back. Kokichi looked at her, his head tilted slightly. He pushed his chair closer to hers once more, watching as Miu moved away yet again. His eyebrows furrowed and Miu realized how bad it must look that she was refusing to even touch Kokichi. 

“Are you mad about the detention?” Kokichi asked, voice just as carefree and light as it usually was. 

“No, of course not.” Miu knew that Kokichi could detect pretty much any lie from her, so she hoped that he would realize that she definitely wasn’t mad at her. 

“Good.” Kokichi responded, turning back to look at the teacher. 

“Good.” Miu repeated, turning her attention to the teacher as well. About 10 minutes later, Kokichi passed over a piece of paper and Miu recognized it as the same one that had caused the two to be in detention in the first place. 

“We never finished our tic tac toe game.” Kokichi smiled, scribbling down his next move. 

“I thought Mrs. Shitface confiscated it.” Miu wasted no time in adding her next move as she tried out the new nickname for her teacher. Kokichi laughed at Miu’s nickname as he took the paper back. 

“Wasn’t too hard to sneak into the classroom and take it from her desk.” Kokichi shrugged and the corners of Miu’s mouth twitched upwards. Miu watched as Kokichi played right into her trap. In just one move, she’d have Kokichi completely cornered. 

She passed Kokichi the paper, smiling to herself as she realized it would be an easy win. As Kokichi passed the paper over, her eyes widened at what she saw. A trap set by Kokichi with no way for her to possibly win. 

“Oops! Looks like you fell into my trap!” Kokichi watched as Miu struggled to figure out a way to win. Miu realized that maybe Kokichi was one of the few people that she’d never be able to read. Kokichi’s smiles barely ever reached his eyes and it was hard to tell if anything he said at all was genuine, so him beating her in tic tac toe shouldn’t have been so unbelievable. 

“Nah, looks like I win, ya fuckin’ shouta!” Miu passed the paper over, watching proudly as Kokichi examined the paper. Miu had drawn an extra line of squares along the right and filled in an ‘o’, creating a false win for herself. 

“Hey! That’s cheating!” Kokichi stuck his tongue out, but that playful smile of his was still on his face. The two laughed softly at Miu’s antics before crumpling up the piece of paper. Kokichi shoved it inside of his backpack, claiming that he’d throw it out later. Detention passed rather uneventfully with Kokichi and Miu talking basically the whole time. Miu felt that she and Kokichi had grown closer that day.

* * *

Miu didn’t think she would ever understand Kokichi. Even though they were soulmates, even though they were destined to be together, Kokichi never let anyone get too close to him. It was like whenever Miu thought that she’d gotten through to him, he’d repeat that same godforsaken “it's a lie!” again and again. 

It wasn’t like Miu particularly cared or anything. She didn’t want to date Kokichi. She just wanted to be his friend. So why did she care if Kokichi wouldn’t share his feelings. Kokichi didn’t want to date and Miu didn’t want to date; it was practically a perfect match. 

...just like soulmates were supposed to be. 

“Hey Miu, what are you doing here?” Rantaro furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at Miu, who was now standing in the doorway of Rantaro’s dorm room. 

“Tell me about you and Kaede.” Miu got straight to the point, staring down Rantaro without blinking. Rantaro looked slightly taken aback, as if he hadn’t expected Miu to ever come to him for help. He invited her inside and the two sat down on the couch. Rantaro introduced her to his roommate, Kaito who promptly left the two alone. 

“I’m aromantic, so me and Kaede aren’t really dating. We’re more like… friends who’re closer than most other people are. I love Kaede, but it’s not in the same way that you love Kokichi.” Rantaro paused between his sentences, trying to figure out a way to word his relationship so that it made sense. 

“Bitch what? I don’t love Kokichi, you fucking avocado.” Miu felt heat rush up to her cheeks and tried to ignore it. Rantaro laughed softly and rolled his eyes, throwing an arm around Miu’s shoulders. 

“I’ve seen the way you look at him. It’s a shame you’re both too wrapped up in your own thoughts to notice that you both love each other.” Rantaro fiddled with his rings, something that Miu noticed he did quite often. 

“I don’t want a soulmate. They cause nothing but pain. Kokichi is my friend and I don’t want to lose him. Even if he’s an annoying little shit sometimes, I still need him.” Miu bit her lip, twirling a strand of her hair in her fingers. She felt her voice begin to rise as panic made its way up her throat, “What if we start dating and it doesn’t work? What if it’s too awkward for us to be friends after that? _What if I lose Kokichi forever?_ ” 

“Hey, that won’t happen. Calm down, Miu.” Rantaro pulled Miu in closer, giving her a hug. Miu hadn’t even noticed that she was crying until now. Miu wiped at her face, trying to hide her tears even though she was sure that Rantaro had already seen them. 

“I can’t lose Kokichi. He’s the closest friend I’ve ever had and I can’t risk it. Maybe I do love him. Maybe you’re right. But I’d rather have him as a friend forever than date him for a week and lose him.” Miu stood up and left. Rantaro followed her to the door, but decided against chasing her down. Miu didn’t want to go back to her dorm room since Kaede would probably be there. 

So she ran. 

She didn’t know where she was going. She didn’t even know why, but she knew that she was going somewhere. 

Miu ran through the school halls, searching for somewhere without any people around. She managed to find a relatively empty janitor’s closet, stationing herself in a corner. She buried her head in her arms and curled up. She wouldn’t cry. She refused to. Crying was weak. Emotions were weak.

Miu Iruma wasn’t weak. 

She was strong. 

Miu heard her phone begin to ring, but she quickly shut it off before even checking who it was. It was probably just Rantaro, checking if she was okay. As if he even cared. Miu dug her fingernails into her arm. Rantaro was the same as everyone else; he didn’t care about her. Hell, Kokichi probably didn’t even care. He was only hanging out with her because they were soulmates. Maybe Kokichi just pitied her. 

“Miu? You in there?” a voice that sounded familiar rang out from behind the door. In fact, it sounded far _too_ familiar. 

“Go away.” Miu could barely get her words out between her sniffles. The door creaked open, revealing Kokichi. He looked different than he usually did. His usual smile was gone, replaced with a somber frown. 

“I called your phone and followed the ringing. I don’t know, I just felt like something was wrong. I felt like I needed to find you.” Kokichi explained, answering every question that Miu was about to ask. Miu let out a sob as Kokichi sat down next to her. 

“I’m fine.” Miu clenched her teeth, trying to stop the tears that were spilling from her eyes.

“That’s a lie, isn’t it.” Kokichi’s mouth twisted into a small smile as he watched Miu. As Miu stared at him, she was reminded that she would never truly understand Kokichi. She shuffled closer to Kokichi, hiding her face in his chest. The smaller boy stroked her head as Miu gripped his shirt tightly. Miu hated that Kokichi had to see her cry. She wasn’t strong, she was weak. 

“I’m sorry.” Miu sobbed, tears staining Kokichi’s white shirt. Kokichi just smiled and pulled Miu closer. 

“Don’t be.” Kokichi told her, running his hands through her hair. Miu let out a noise that she couldn’t quite tell if it was a sob or a laugh. Miu reached for Kokichi’s hand, but pulled away before she grabbed it. 

_I love you, Kokichi._

The words sat on the tip of Miu’s mouth. She couldn’t say it. 

Not yet, at least.

* * *

Miu felt the familiar sensation of a piece of paper lodging itself into her hair. Miu immediately knew that it was from Kokichi, no one else in class really liked her besides him (and maybe Rantaro). Opening the note, Miu recognized the neat printing. 

_miuuuu! go to the bathroom in five minutes. DONT ASK QUESTIONS!_

Mere seconds after Miu read the note, Kokichi stood up and asked to go to the bathroom. Miu spent a few minutes doodling aimlessly before asking to go to the bathroom as well. 

“Can you wait for Ouma to come back?” the teacher asked. 

“Bitch, I’m about to piss my pants.” Miu stared up at the teacher, hands on her hips. The teacher rolled her eyes at Miu’s profanity, but she’d gotten used to it at this point. She’d given Miu far too many detentions to not realize that a day staying afterschool wasn’t going to change her personality. She reluctantly allowed Miu to go to the bathroom and Miu ran out of the classroom. 

She knew that Kokichi would be hiding somewhere waiting for her, but where was a completely different story. She debated calling his name, but that would probably alert some nearby teachers. Miu was about to text Kokichi when a voice whispered her name.

“Psst, Miu! Miu, over here!” Miu whipped around towards the voice and smiled when she recognized that same godugly checkered scarf waving from inside of a closet. Miu recognized it as the all too familiar closet that she had cried in during _the incident_ about a week ago. 

Kokichi grabbed Miu and yanked her inside. Miu stumbled forwards, knocking Kokichi over and landing on his chest. Miu scrambled off as quickly as she could, but her cheeks still turned to a faded red. 

“The fuck you want, cock itchy.” Despite Miu’s hostile words, her tone was soft as it usually was around Kokichi. She spotted Kokichi smile softly at the nickname that was still written on Kokichi’s arm, but his smile quickly faded. 

“Miu.” Kokichi said nothing but her name, his usual singsong tone replaced with a dead serious voice. The spark in his eyes was gone and Kiu wondered if he was really sad or if this was another one of his lies. 

“Hey, what’s up dickcheese? Why’re you so serious?” Miu tilted her head. It was strange to see Kokichi so serious. Kokichi was always upbeat and joking around. He was childlike and he never took anything too seriously, but now, all of his childish wonder was gone. 

“What are we?” Kokichi’s question was simple enough, but it was the three words that Miu had dreaded the most.

“What?” only one word was able to slip past Miu’s lips as her brave facade slowly crumbled. 

“We’re soulmates. We’re supposed to be perfect together so why aren’t we?” Kokichi reached up to his scarf and yanked it down a bit, letting in some air. Miu bit her lip, unsure of what she was even meant to say after that. Miu waited for Kokichi to say something else, anything else. She hoped and prayed that Kokichi would say “it's a lie!” again. She’d hated that phrase so much in the past, but now it was the only thing Miu wanted to hear. 

“I dunno what you’re talking about! Anyone would be lucky to have me, the gorgeous girl genius Miu fucking Iruma, as their soulmate!” Miu returned to her usual flashy persona, trying to mask any and all of her emotions. Kokichi had seen her cry one too many times and Miu wouldn’t let it happen again. 

“This is what I’m talking about! I’m trying to tone down the lies and talk to you like a normal person and you can’t stop that stupid persona of yours!” Kokichi yelled at her, his face not moving from it’s tense and almost _bored_ expression. Miu clenched her fist at her side. She knew that what Kokichi was saying was true and that’s probably why she hated it so much. 

“Don’t act like you’re any different. Most of what you say is just a lie and no one can ever tell if you’re telling the truth or not. It’s not my fault that you’re literally fucking made of mixed signals!” Miu shouted back, biting down on her lip hard enough to draw a little blood. The metallic taste filled her mouth as her blood began to boil. 

God, who did Kokichi think he was. Miu wasn’t the only one not being truthful in this relationship. Kokichi thought he was soooo great. He was Kokichi Ouma, the supreme leader and he thought he was above normal people. Kokichi was annoying at best and had a napoleon complex at worst. 

“You’re not the only one with trauma, Miu. Stop acting like all of your actions are excused cause you had a shitty childhood. Does it look like I’m lying right now? You can stop being paranoid and fucking talk to me.” Kokichi was stronger than Miu was. Kokichi was the literal embodiment of strength and Miu hated that he could talk down to her. 

Friends weren’t supposed to see each other as inferior, so why did she feel like Kokichi was so much stronger than her. Miu was the leaves on a tree, fragile and ready to fall at any point. Kokichi was the wind; a force of nature. Kokichi was ripping Miu from the safe sanctuary she had created and he was expecting her to adapt. 

Maybe Miu didn’t want a soulmate. Maybe Miu didn’t care about Kokichi’s eyes that looked like they were wise beyond their years. Maybe Miu didn’t care about the way Kokichi could pull off such an ugly scarf. And Miu _definitely_ didn’t care about the fact that all she wanted to do was reach in and kiss Kokichi. 

It was like Kokichi activated some sort of secret yearning inside of her. She’d never known what it was like to want someone **so badly**. 

“I don’t want a soulmate.” Miu seethed, praying that no tears would fall from her eyes to betray her false confidence. 

“I don’t want a soulmate either.” Kokichi replied, staring into Miu’s crystal eyes. Miu stared at him back and the two had what seemed to be an unofficial staring contest. 

“Good.” Miu finished, digging her fingernails into her palm. 

“Good.” Kokichi repeated. He opened the door and left, leaving Miu inside. Miu wished for Kokichi to repeat those stupid three words. 

_It’s a lie._

And for the first time in a long time, Miu didn’t have the vaguest clue as to whether or not Kokichi was lying. It felt like Kokichi was holding out his hand, waiting for Miu to grab it and follow him. The problem was that Kokichi’s hand was a weapon and Miu was nothing but skin. With just one touch, she’d be gone. 

Kokichi was always so far ahead of her and it felt like it was going to stay that way.

* * *

Miu didn’t go to class for a few days. From the looks of Rantaro’s texts, neither had Kokichi. Miu had been staying at a nearby hotel for a few days, lounging around without doing anything in particular. Staying in her dorm would’ve meant that she’d have to interact with Kaede and there was no way she would go back home to her parents, so a hotel was her best option. 

Both Rantaro and Kaede had been texting and calling Miu nonstop, but Miu had ignored every call. She’d debated blocking them, but if there was an emergency, it was good to have at least one person she trusted. Miu received a reminder on her phone, noting that today was the last day of her hotel reservation. Broke and jobless, Miu had no way of paying for another night so she quickly packed up her few belongings and prepared to leave. 

“Miu! You in there?” accompanying the voice was a rather loud and relentless knocking, one that Miu would recognize anywhere. She tried to stay as quiet as she could so as to not let Rantaro know that she was inside. 

Then her phone started ringing. 

It was the same stupid trick that Kokichi had used. Miu tried to silence it as quickly as she could, but Rantaro started yelling again. This time, Miu could pinpoint another voice alongside his. 

“Go away!” Miu yelled, not leaving the bed. After the knocking didn’t stop, Miu finally stood up and opened the door, revealing a tired looking Rantaro and Kaede. 

The situation felt vaguely nostalgic. 

“Finally found you!” Rantaro breathed out softly, tucking his phone back into his pocket. 

“Yeah, speaking of which _how_.” Miu stared at the two as they entered her room. 

“It took a lot of begging but I had that Chihiro kid from class 78 track your phone. Y’know, it’s really hard to talk to him cause he’s always surrounded by that buff Mondo guy and that guy Kiyotaka who’s always yelling to stop running in the halls.” Rantaro huffed, sliding a ring up and down his finger. 

“Alright, I don’t care, go away.” Miu nearly slammed the door, but Rantaro held it open. Kaede watched the two argue but didn’t speak as despite being roommates, she didn’t think she knew Miu well enough to judge her decisions. 

“Why are you so against being with Kokichi? He’s your soulmate for god’s sake.” Rantaro blew up, running a hand through his green hair. Miu bit her lip. She could feel her anger rising, bubbling to the surface. Rantaro really didn’t know just how annoying he could be sometimes.

“Maybe I don’t have any visible scars. Maybe I don’t have bruises that you can see. But fuck you if you think that I need to have a reason for not wanting to date someone. I don’t give a shit Rantaro, but not all abuse is visible. I don’t care about soulmates. I’m Miu fucking Iruma, the gorgeous girl genius and I don’t need a fucking soulmate to be happy. Soulmates are nothing but trouble and they don’t even guarantee a good life.” Miu didn’t care that she was far too loud to be proper. Miu didn’t care that not only was she being too vulgar, but she was also being far too rude to one of the only people that she considered a friend. 

“Miu, I didn’t mean-” 

“No, I’m not done. You can’t fucking claim that you know me because _you don’t_. You don’t know anything about me or the shit I had to go through.” Miu spat, biting down on her lip until the faint taste of blood filled her mouth. Neither Rantaro nor Kaede had any clue of what Miu had gone through in the past. 

Why should either of them get to dictate what Miu should feel? 

“I’m leaving. Bye.” Miu pushes past the two at her door, not listening to their pleas for her to stay. Pulling her single suitcase behind her, she sauntered out of the hotel, leaving her key at the front desk. 

And once again, Miu didn’t know where she was supposed to go. At this point, she had nowhere to go. She walked along the street, staring up at the blue sky. That was when a droplet of water fell onto her shoulder. Following that was another drop and then another one. The sky darkened and clouds filled the air above her. 

Running through the rain, Miu found herself going to the one place she had promised herself to never return. She squeezed water out of her hair as she knocked on the door. The door creaked open, revealing a face that was far too familiar. 

“I’m sorry.” Miu muttered as Kokichi pulled her inside. It was a bit embarrassing for Kokichi to have to see Miu cry again, but even after their fight there was only one person Miu trusted. 

“Don’t be.” Kokichi shut the door behind them, sitting Miu down on his couch. Teeth chattering, Miu curled into a ball, pressing herself against the edge of the couch. Faster than Miu had hoped for, her eyelids fluttered closed.

* * *

Miu was 90% sure Kokichi had woken her up. 

That was exactly the kind of bullshit that Kokichi would pull. Waking her up while pretending to be all innocent. He’d done it before and Miu wouldn’t be surprised if he did it again. 

Then Miu’s eyes wandered down to the black letters on her arm and she remembered that even Kokichi wouldn’t try to pull a prank on her when the two had just had a huge fight. She and Kokichi would never be a normal couple — _no one_ was a normal couple anymore. Soulmate tattoos made sure of that. 

“Hey, Kokichi? Can we talk?” Miu’s voice slipped out of it’s usual shell before Miu could even put it back on. Kokichi’s head whipped around from where he was standing in the kitchen. Miu only now noticed the soft blue blanket on top of her that definitely hadn’t been there when she had fallen asleep. 

Kokichi nodded as he sat down next to her. Miu used to feel so comfortable around Kokichi, like she could talk to him about anything. Now she was afraid of what he would say. Each word out of his mouth was a loaded gun tearing deeper into her heart. 

“I’m sorry.” Miu began, taking a deep breath before trying to rearrange her thoughts. 

“Stop saying that. You’re Miu fucking Iruma, yeah? The gorgeous girl genius who’s good looks and golden brain will go down in history. Miu Iruma doesn’t apologize for anything. She’s strong and she knows her own self-worth.” the words sounded so foreign out of Kokichi’s mouth. Miu wasn’t used to Kokichi complimenting her so blatantly. His usual compliments were hidden under layers of insults and if he ever complimented you outright, it was hard to know whether or not it was genuine. 

For some reason though, Miu could tell that Kokichi was no longer lying. 

“And you’re Kokichi Ouma, the crafty, unpredictable, ultimate supreme leader, right? Kokichi Ouma doesn’t compliment people and he sure as hell doesn’t say anything without it being some sort of riddle.” Miu tilted her head as she and Kokichi stared at each other, unblinking. 

“Maybe I have been complimenting you and you’ve been too dumb to notice.” Miu flinched at Kokichi’s words before smiling and leaning in closer. The two were mere inches away from each other, mouths twisted into some sort of smile-frown combo. 

“Ah, that sounds more like something Kokichi would say.” Miu smiled, voice barely above a whisper. Kokichi raised his eyebrows at Miu’s sentence as if to confirm that her phrase was true. 

“I’ve only ever lied about my feelings for you once.” Kokichi whispered back, the two still as statues. 

“How do I know that wasn’t a lie.” Miu could feel that the tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. One wrong word and their precious moment would come crumbling down. Miu felt like she was in paradise and she never wanted to leave. 

“Why don’t you come closer and check.” Kokichi’s eyes twinkled as he spoke, almost as if every word he spoke had a hidden meaning. Despite all of Kokichi’s airs, Miu knew that everything he was currently saying was true. 

“Maybe you should tell me what that one time was.” Miu breathed out softly, lips nearly brushing against Kokichi as they got closer. 

“I’ll give you a hint.” Kokichi leaned in and pressed his lips against Miu’s ear, “I want you as my soulmate.” 

Every single word of their past conversations came flooding back. Their meeting, the tic tac toe game, the fight in the janitors closet. It was all rushing back piece by piece. Miu had never felt happier than she did in this moment. Even through the thick tension and the fear of what to say next, just the fact that Kokichi had been lying about the fact that he didn’t want her as his soulmate was enough to make Miu feel happier than she’d ever felt before. 

“Let me tell you what I lied about too.” Miu pushed Kokichi back a little bit before leaning in herself to his ear, “I want you as my soulmate too.” 

“I’m going to kiss you.” Kokichi was barely audible, yet his words were louder than anything Miu had ever heard. Despite the way his words were meant to be seen as a statement, Kokichi phrased it as a question, waiting for Miu to respond before moving in any closer. 

“Kiss me.” Miu was only able to squeeze out two words before Kokichi leaned in again, pressing his lips against her. 

Miu had kissed people before plenty of times, but this felt different. It somehow felt like she’d never really felt _love_ before. Maybe Kokichi wasn’t her other half and maybe he didn’t complete her, but it sure as hell felt nice to kiss him. Miu now understood what people meant when they talked about how good it felt to be with their soulmate. Miu was already a complete person, she didn’t _need_ Kokichi to be happy, but she wanted him. 

She didn’t need his stupid jokes, but she wanted them. She didn’t need his nonsense notes that he threw at the back of her head, but she wanted them. She didn’t need Kokichi’s conspiracy theory texts at 3 am, but she wanted them. She wanted Kokichi in all that he was. 

She felt her knees go weak as everything around her disappeared. There was nothing except for the way Kokichi’s lips felt on hers. Kokichi was more than just an annoying friend; he was Miu’s soulmate and fuck was he a good kisser. 

“Kiss me again.” Before Miu could even get the words out, Kokichi closed the distance between the two again. The two looked at each other for a few moments after they pulled apart, unable to speak through the heavy silence hanging in the air. 

Miu really thought that there was nothing that could go wrong. She was together with Kokichi and that was all she cared about. She was Miu fucking Iruma, the ultimate inventor herself and he was Kokichi Ouma, the ultimate supreme leader, but right now, they were just Miu and Kokichi. They were two teens who had gotten so caught up in their own self-doubt and spiraling thoughts. 

“I’ll tell you my trauma if you tell me yours.” Miu laughed softly. 

“What are we 5?” But despite Kokichi’s teasing remark, his face straightened and Miu knew that he agreed to her statement. Miu’d never felt safer than when she was with Kokichi so what better person than to share the deepest parts of her soul with.

* * *

News spread quickly through the school that Miu and Kokichi were dating. Miu had received congratulations from people that she’d barely even talked to once — apparently meeting and dating your soulmate was a big deal to some people. It wasn’t that Miu and Kokichi tried to hide their relationship or anything like that, but the constant attention wasn’t something that Miu was used to. In the past, the only attention she got from girls was them making fun of her and calling her a ‘boyfriend stealing witch’ while the guys would only make comments about her physical appearance. 

Rantaro had apologized for being pushy and Miu had accepted his apology without much hassle. Rantaro hadn’t meant to be rude and although he’d pissed Miu off, he was one of the closest friends that Miu had. 

“Hey, cockitchy. Follow me.” Miu grabbed Kokichi’s hand and dragged him through the crowd. Kokichi didn’t bother to say anything; he’d gotten used to Miu’s antics at this point. There wasn’t a day that went by without Miu dragging Kokichi off somewhere with no prior explanation. Miu continued to drag Kokichi around until she spotted the room she was looking for. 

“A janitor’s closet? Really?” Kokichi watched as Miu shut the door behind them. Miu raised her eyebrows and realization set into Kokichi’s face, “oh its _the_ janitor’s closet.”

“Kokichi Ouma, the ultimate supreme shitface.” Miu took a breath after her line, watching as Kokichi laughed at her new nickname for him, “I love you.” 

Kokichi stopped laughing. 

Miu and Kokichi hadn’t been dating for long, but since their first meeting those three words had been on the tip of her tongue. Miu had known that she loved Kokichi for a long time, but it just took her a little bit of time to gain the confidence to actually say it out loud. Miu wanted to be with Kokichi forever and she was sure of that now. 

“Miu Iruma, the ultimate masochist.” Kokichi let out a breath and prepared for his next line, “I love you too.” 

And there was nothing else that they needed to say. Fuck soulmates and all that was so important about that. Miu still thought that soulmates were more trouble than they were worth, but maybe, just maybe; having Kokichi as her soulmate wasn’t too bad of a situation. 

Maybe she even thought that she’d have to thank her soulmate tattoo for introducing to the one person who she didn’t really mind spending the rest of her life with.

**Author's Note:**

> me: alright im gonna take a lil break and write a couple short fluffy oneshots that are only around 2k words  
> also me: *writes a nearly 9k word fic with heavy themes*
> 
> so yeahh thats it guys, gals, and nonbinary pals. i hope u guys liked it and that my characterization wasnt too far off lol


End file.
